Dog Doo

My life up until eight years ago has been basically dog free. I never owned nor formed a relationship with anyone from the canine family. Not so any longer. I’d have to say I’ve gained an intimacy with these two redheaded mutts that surpasses most of my human relationships.
I’m not a rabid dog lover. In fact, I feel a certain clumsiness around them, and wonder if they somehow know that my intuitive sensibilities lie with cats. I’m guessing not as they still treat me with a kind of wary curiosity, and have accepted me into their pack knowing I don’t mean them any harm, having good intentions no matter how alien I might appear.
Harm - as if by not meaning to harm them, it won’t happen. This was not the case, and our lives have been permanently altered since Toby (top dog - literally) was hit by a truck. The details surrounding that gut wrenching evening are another story I may someday tell. But my relationship with Toby the golden retriever, brother of Jack our other dog, changed forever after that night. And this sets the stage for the inordinate amount of attention the rear end of this dog receives on a daily basis. He’s farting as I write.
His hips were fractured in two places from the accident, and consequently compressed. One day we noticed Toby squatting beyond the normal time it takes a dog to do its business. His narrowed pelvic region prevented him from taking a normal doggie dump. And so began the routine of 15cc’s of laxative three times a day. Not injected, no suppositories thank god, but in his food, which means he gets three meals a day and “the walk”.
The walk, while providing some exercise, helps his digestive tract get going and has evolved into a study of all aspects of K-9 crapping. Posture, tail position, ritual pre-poop circling, and of course consistency, shape and quantity of the poopers. My wife and I have entire conversations about it. This is when the carefree cat days come back to haunt me.
When we hire a dog sitter, the list of details they must follow scares off all but those who take dog care to extremes no sane individual or cat lover would dare consider.